Review: The Beginning of After by Jennifer Castle

In my opinion, this is the kind of book you would pick up if you wanted an easy read with no expectations to be completely engrossed. Overall, I thought that the book itself was well written and the characters were unique and interesting, but not much really happens.  Far from action-packed, it just seemed that it was just a series of “things the main character does after tragedy hits”. The book has a slow pace and as I look back on it, there aren’t really any big “stand out” moments past the first few chapters. Regardless, there are some touching moments however this isn’t a very deep novel that will get you thinking when you close it. If you’re looking for a simple read to get you by (something to read on the beach or by the pool maybe?) this could be a good choice.

The book is about a 17 year old girl named Harper who’s life is completely shattered when her parents and younger brother are killed in a car accident. She finds herself trying to cope and figure out her life without them, dealing with having a best friend, love interests and college applications while trying to process her grief. She also finds herself inexplicably connected with David Kaufman, her “bad boy” neighbor who’s father was driving the car that killed Laurels family and David’s mother as well. Laurel and David, who were friends as young children and parted ways as they grew up, begin to realize that this tragedy is something they now have in common, and maybe they do need each other.

SPOILERS:// The main thing that frustrated me about this book is that Castle crafted such interesting, unique characters, but they felt so absent in comparison to the recounting of Laurels mundane day-to-day life. David was such a great character, but he was missing for the majority of the book. To me, their love story kind of fell flat because he was just never around. You never really got to see them get to know each other, get comfortable, fall in love… It was mostly just two separate grieving people who eventually realize that they might need each other and then suddenly they’re in love?

I also think there should have been some more internal dialogue incorporated. An important aspect of a book about grieving and what makes them so good is being able to follow their healing process. We see Laurel acting out in anger or sadness but we don’t get much of an internal view of her emotions. They’re there occasionally and it adds so much to the character but its not nearly enough to only see an occasional glimpse of her thought process. The girl just lost her entire family; there’s so much potential depth and emotion to be explored with this, but sadly this book fell flat in that department.

I was also disappointed with the ending. Yes, the readers got everything they wanted but I disliked that this entire neat little wrapped up ending was condensed to a short epilogue. As if we were left hanging with all these questions after an actual, meaningful event in the story and then the epilogue was just a “oh yeah, so all this happened and everything is perfect and great now”.

I feel as though some of the slow, mundane pages within the 400 or so could have been spared and a good, longer wrap up could have taken its place. //: SPOILERS

Overall, I think that the story is a sweet one, but it isn’t one that will keep you at the edge of your seat, or get you thinking about life and loss once you’ve put it down.

6/10

Review: I Was Here by Gayle Forman

**Trigger warning: Suicide

I’ll start off by saying that I had with high expectations for this book, as I have read both If I Stay and Where She Went by Gayle Forman, and I absolutely loved them. This book however was not quite what I expected. I’m not saying that it was bad; not at all, I really enjoyed this book, but the topics and the atmosphere are very different.

The story centers around a young girl named Cody who is dealing with her best friend Meg’s suicide. Cody had no idea Meg was suicidal and it completely overtaken by sadness, but also with anger. As she takes a trip to Meg’s college dorm to pick up all the things she left behind, she begins to discover that she didn’t know her best friend as well as she thought she did. She finds an encrypted file on Meg’s computer, throwing her into piecing together the mystery that is Meg’s suicide and what could have driven her to it.

The book deals heavily with suicide and I would honestly not recommend this book to anyone who is dealing with depression and/or suicidal thoughts.

{Spoilers//: It definitely takes a disturbing look into the human psyche and our curiosity of what it would be like if we decided to end our lives. That is one thing that I think Forman did well in this book. As morbid as it is, she mentions how “we all have those days”: those bad days/weeks where we just wonder what it would be like if we just stopped existing. Seeing Cody let out her true emotions and even start to consider suicide herself is unsettling, because on some level, we can relate and feel the same.

Another thing that I loved about this book was seeing the progression of the relationship Cody has with her mother. Right off the bat, we’re shown that Cody’s mother doesn’t seem to really care about her and is nothing like the parental figures Meg has in her life. But as the novel progresses, you can see Cody begin to evolve from resenting her mother, to accepting and understanding her actions, and finally to needing her and actually seeing her as a parent.

The main thing that I’m on the fence about with this book is the whole romantic plot with Ben. I’m a sucker for a good love story. Even as clichéd as this one was: the innocent virgin girl meets the bad boy player who doesn’t “do” relationships, I could have maybe gotten into it. But it just felt weird. A guy that was friends with her deceased best friend, who had sex with her once and then basically, told her to leave him alone. And of course, he falls in love with Cody and changes his ways for her because she’s “not like other girls”.  Its just unsettling to me that Cody is okay with ending up with a guy that her best friend was so crazy about and who just kicked her to the curb after sleeping with her. ://Spoilers}

Overall, though I don’t think its my favourite book by Gayle Forman, I did enjoy it. She successfully conveys a lot of raw emotions as well as satisfying character growth. Even though I found that I could not really relate with the protagonist very much, I was still able to connect with her and her pain, grief and anger is loud an clear.

If you’re looking for a mysterious, dark and emotional read, I would recommend it.

7.5/10

Note:

As this book centers heavily on the topics of depression and suicide, and because this is also a subject that has affected my personally, I would like to urge you: if you are struggling with something like this, PLEASE know that you are not alone. Reach out to someone, anyone, who you trust and can help you find professional help.

If you do not feel comfortable reaching out to someone you know, do not have anyone to reach out to, or need help figuring out what to do next, please call a suicide prevention hotline. They are available 24/7 and are there to help you.

1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

Review: The Last Forever by Deb Caletti

I liked this book, but didn’t love it. I felt as though there was so much potential and so much that could have been further developed but just ended up falling flat.

The story is about a 17 year old girl named Tessa dealing with the recent loss of her mother to cancer and her grief stricken father who can no longer be the supportive parent that Tessa needs at this time. Her father pulls her along on a spontaneous road trip culminating in their arrival at her grandmother’s home in small faraway town.

It’s here where Tessa meets Henry Lark, an intelligent, mysterious boy with a love for reading similar to her own. With the help of Henry, and other people she meets during her stay, she embarks on a journey to save the Pixiebell – a plant that her mother spent her whole life keeping alive; one of the few things Tessa has left to remember her.

Though a lot of emphasis is put on the romance between Tessa and Henry, the book is ultimately about acceptance, life after loss and dealing with grief. The grief and guilt Tessa feels regarding her mothers death is heartbreaking and a point where the reader can truly connect with her. However the part that disappointed me was the way Caletti handled the Tessa-Henry romance. The suspicions the reader will likely develop about Henry do end up being correct in the books heartbreaking climax, but the way Tessa dealt with this is where I felt that the book was disappointing.

{SPOILERS//: I have no problem with the plot twist itself, in fact I think that it was a really interesting and refreshing change in the typical teenage romance. What bothered me is that though Tessa is initially heartbroken by the revelation of Henry’s sexuality, just a few pages later, she seems completely over it and they carry on a cutesy “long lost sibling” friendship. After so much of he book emphasizing how in love she was with Henry, and though not overly affectionate, Henry did return her sentiments, I am honestly irritated that Tessa is just okay with how Henry led her on for so long. It was so clear that Tessa was head-over-heels for this guy. I understand that this was a really hard time in Henry’s life and he wasn’t ready to come to terms and admit his sexuality, but the least he could have done is not led Tessa on. If he really cared for her as much as he said he did, he would have at least tried not to break her heart. ://SPOILERS}

Besides the areas that were a bit frustrating to me, I enjoyed this book. It did drag on a bit in the first few chapters but once you got past those, it definitely picked up. I wish we could have seen a bit more of Tessa’s growth and seen a bit more intimately how she dealt with her guilt and grief, as it seemed a bit scattered; it would be mentioned quickly, and then overshadowed by something else happening.

An entertaining read, but not the best.

6.5/10